Maybe Maybaaaaline?

As winter draws near (at least in the northern hemisphere), one might think that this is the time for caprines everywhere to start settling in somewhere warm. In these short winter days and long winter nights, many sheep might be tempted to hunker down, stay in, and, well, ruminate. Even given a thick warm winter coat, wind and rain can wreak havoc with a ruminant’s hair-do, and does nothing for the smoothly-complexioned sheep trying to maintain a youthful look.

Happily, science may now lend a hand. While geneticists seem content to meddle with sheep and goats in order to benefit humankind, science now gives something back to the ovicaprid suffering a bad-hair day. Or a no-hair day, if they’re recently shorn. Yes, image conscious caprines can now fight the signs of aging with their own range of skin-protecting products. We think these would nicely complement other products suggested by a reader (as always, though, consult the labelling carefully to make sure that products you're using don't combine to create some new, deadly chemical soup that would melt the face off of an unsuspecting ovicaprid). Bafflingly, our extensive phone-polls of high-street cosmetic retailers drew a blank; the spray does not, for now at least, appear to be easily available to the walk-in customer in the city centre. Wrinkly sheep may need to import the stuff from Australia for the time being. The market responds to demand, though, so next time you’re out, don’t hesitate for a minute to ask: ask for the sheep spray! Cold, prune-like ruminants the world over will thank you.